ASHEN MORTALITY

LYRICS

All lyrics: Ian Arkley

(Transciption of lyrics as they are sung on original released recordings)

 

Broken Bonds Broken Bonds

Cast The First Stone Cast The First Stone

The Darkest Of Nights The Darkest Of Nights

Faded Tapestry Faded Tapestry

From This Cage From This Cage

Imprisoned Imprisoned

In Empty Eyes In Empty Eyes

Reflection My Reflection

Ashen Mortality art by Nick Bolton

Eden Our Eden

Separation Separation

Serenity Serenity

Sleepless Remorse Sleepless Remorse

Through The Vale Through The Vale

Yesterday's Gone Yesterday's Gone

Your Caress Your Caress

 

Broken Bonds

The sweetest love from you offered

Forced to run so cold where once true love flowed

Regretful tears of sorrow now

Flow freely down and fall to the ground

 

I cannot bear to see your tears

The harm I have done for all of these years

With sadness now we lay to rest

These old broken bonds of once perfect love

Top

Cast The First Stone

Come now cast the first stone where you think I fell away

Accuse with your sharp tongues come judge where I strayed

Ill informed judges with hearts full of scorn

Look away in your disgrace

Seems no one is righteous no not even one mortal

 

Perfection escapes us

Sin is found in each one of us

No-one is yet perfected

And all flesh becomes dust

 

Hearts full of wisdom with Christ's love and holiness

Gentle in spirit never curse only bless

And in their example lead those who have strayed

Beckoning weak saints to return

Their lives convicting the ones who have fallen away

 

Perfection escapes us

Sin is found in each one of us

No-one is yet perfected

And all flesh becomes dust

 

Judge not lest ye be judged

Bless those who would curse you

Judge not lest ye be judgeed

Curse not lest ye be cursed

As I stoop to cast stones where others have fallen down

Accusing for weakness as though none in me were found

An ill informed judge I with heart full of scorn

I look away in my disgrace

Teach me to be righteous for Lord you are immortal

 

Perfection escapes us

Sin is found in each one of us

No-one is yet perfected

And all flesh becomes dust

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The Darkest Of Nights

Cold winter frost bites my face and hands

As I fall into the darkest night as yet I have known

Mind full of memories makes it's cruel demands

How can I face another hour alone

 

Is there no hope for me within my misery

 

Pain bleeding despair

Ceaseless for so long

Many years gone

Longing for release

How can I begin again

 

Be near me for I am alone

As I fall into the darkest night as yet I have known

Lord be my refuge in this hour of pain

Please bring me glimpses of light through the rain

 

In my mind can you see black rain falls down on me

 

Pain bleeding despair

Ceaseless for so long

Many years gone

Longing for release

How can I begin again

 

I'm still feeling the pain

Longing empty within

For me to die would be release

I long to see my love again

 

Beloved Lord I know you still hear my cries

I am old and frail and I long to be set free

All that I loved in this life has gone

Reunite us in your arms soon in your kingdom

 

I can now only see death as freedom for me

 

Pain bleeding despair

Ceaseless for so long

Many years gone

Longing for release

How can I begin again

 

Pain bleeding despair

Ceaseless for so long

Many years gone

Longing for release

How can I begin again

 

As I face this lonely night

Am I wrong longing to leave

If it's your will for me to stay

Lead me finally through this grief

 

As I face this lonely night

Am I wrong longing to leave

If it's your will for me to stay

Lead me finally through this

Grief

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Faded Tapestry

The haunting distance of the past

The closing in of final days

Fear uncertain life beyond

As woven colours fade to grey

 

A faded tapestry of memories

Hangs within a lonely mind

Washed to grey by painful tears

Tarnished by the empty years

 

The haunting distance of the past

The closing in of final days

Fear uncertain life beyond

As woven colours fade to grey

 

Now can someone as they die

Find hope from words taught as a child

Where once these thoughts of tainted past

Wrought sadness never meant to last

 

The haunting distance of the past

The closing in of final days

Fear uncertain life beyond

As woven colours fade to grey

 

And now can someone as they die

Find hope from words taught as a child

Where once these thoughts of tainted past

Wrought sadness never meant to last

 

Human fragile reaching high

At last the truth elusive found

For this weak body death is nigh

Yet souls believing never die

 

The haunting distance of the past

The closing in of final days

Fear uncertain life beyond

As woven colours fade to grey

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From This Cage

My body aches my mind is numb

Is this the way we all become

Lost again with no direction

Broken by this spiritual infection

Broken by this spiritual infection yeah

 

I'm going down in frustration again

Falling apart is it too late to change

I've been staring outwards from this cage

But looking inward seems impossible at this stage

 

Lift me up

Strength is slipping away

 

Nothing feels like it used to now

It seems too far away somehow

As slowly life is turning cold

I wait untill it all unfolds

 

My body aches my mind is numb

See this fool that I've become

Words of healing you have spoken

Still I'm feeling weak and broken

Still I'm feeling weak and broken

 

Lift me up

Take this weight from me

Break this curse

Put your strength within me

Top

Imprisoned

Impossible to know how it feels inside

Imprisoned within emptiness believing lies

All alone I still believed the truth God knows

I fail again through constant pressure

Within my mind the madness grows

 

In this darkness a room is a prison cell

Existing here without hope in a personal hell

 

In this prison cell

 

Aware of true potential but to have no way

Of fulfilling all these dreams now ripped up thrown away

Not to seek for symapathy but just to live

Is this another wasted day

I have no plans nothing to give

 

In this darkness a room is a prison cell

Existing here without hope in a personal hell

 

In this prison cell

 

Falling to the floor what have I become

Staring through resticting walls has depression won

Looking back to years long gone when hope was there

Is this the way for everyone

Or for a few is life unfair

 

In this darkness a room is a prison cell

Existing here without hope in a personal hell

 

In this prison cell

 

Stay with me until I see an end to the madness

I pray to thee for I can see

The four walls closing in

Stay with me until I see an end to this cold sadness

Oh be near me one day I know I'll see

The four walls falling down

Top

In Empty Eyes

Why has beauty died

The world has made it all so ugly

Where has love gone

The depth we once knew is now so shallow

Why has beauty died

Where has love gone

 

Where has purity flown

The world's corrupted seeds are sown

As love is twisted in ugly shame

So many innocent feel the pain

Where has purity flown

Where has love gone

 

As we see the broken lives

Can we love again

World of pain in empty eyes

Looking out in vain

 

Can we love again

Return to live in truth and beauty

Purity still remains

For those who look to christ and see

Can we love again

Purity still remains

 

As we see the broken lives

Can we love again

World of pain in empty eyes

Looking out in vain

 

As we see the broken lives

Can we love again

World of pain in empty eyes

Looking out in vain

Top

My Reflection

You took much more than you'll ever know

Do you remember all those years ago

The stolen trust the lies the fear

Pain you've sown

Memories never let her go

 

Threw away her innocence she's torn apart inside

You filled this life with emptiness and snatched away her pride

Here she is with little left of who she used to be

Crying in my arms she said

I see my reflection and hate what I see

 

You threw away her innocence she's torn apart inside

You filled this life with emptiness and snatched away her pride

Here she is with little left of who she used to be

Crying in my arms she said

I see my reflection and hate what I see

 

All those things you've taken

They can never be replaced

 

Twisted in your filthiness polluted and depraved

If you could see the scars you've left

Would you tie that millstone around your neck

And throw your selfish life away

Would you throw your selfish life away

 

Twisted in your filthiness polluted and depraved

If you could see the scars you've left

Would you tie that millstone around your neck

Here she is with little left of who she used to be

Crying in my arms she said

I see my reflection and hate what I see

 

All those things you've taken

They can never be replaced

 

You took much more than you'll ever know

Do you remember all those years ago

The stolen trust the lies the fear

The pain you've sown

Memories never let her go

 

Years of nightmares

Years of disgust

Self loathing

I pray for healing

 

Years of nightmares

Years of disgust

Self loathing

I pray for healing

 

Years of nightmares

Years of disgust

Self loathing

I pray for healing

 

Years of nightmares

Years of disgust

Self loathing

I pray for healing

 

I pray for healing

I pray for healing

Top

Our Eden

Walk again with me

Through the garden

Take my hand

Come away with me

And remember when we walked this way before

One summer

 

Do you still believe

Do you still remember

 

Walk again with me

See the beauty

Take my hand

Without the pain

And remember when we walked this way before

In innocence

 

Do you still believe

Can we ever really return to our eden

Top

Separation

Try to survive as you shed many more tears

Darkness once again no refrain

Endless fears

Within your mind still aware

Of the truth and the lies

Spirit willing flesh weak

Again innocence dies

 

The separation

Crying God leave me

 

I pray you'll realise

Where many have cried

The once forsaken old man that drove you insane

Has seized you once more and holds you again

 

The things you once loved

Are sins you've since hated

 

Where do you turn when you know you're falling

Where can you escape from the pain of failing

It seems as you wake left alone no one hears when you cry

You find you've been used with no one

In which to confide

 

The separation

Crying God leave me

 

I pray you'll realise

Where many have cried

The once forsaken old man that drove you insane

Has seized you once more and holds you again

 

The things you once loved

Are sins you've since hated

But still you return you return

 

Where can you go where he can't see you

He knows how you fail but still never leaves you

Where can you go where he'll not see you

He knows how you fail but still he believes in you

 

Forgiveness is real on the cross as blood flowed

He took the sins of the world perfect love shown

The cold empty feeling inside as you have denied

Your love once pure once strong

For the lamb has died

 

The separation

You can still return

 

I pray you'll realise

Where many have cried

The once forsaken old man that drove you insane

Has seized you once more and holds you again

 

The things you once loved

Are sins you've since hated

But still you return

Top

Serenity

(Instrumental)

Top

Sleepless Remorse

They told me I would feel fine in a few days

So confused people told me it was the only way

Now all I feel is remorse

My heart aches when I think about my child

I can only imagine your face

I let you be torn away from me in disgrace

 

Now all around me is regrets

Every morning I wish I could hold you in my arms

Or see you sleep dream in peaceful calm

But all I have is loneliness

I cannot bear these thoughts oppressing me

 

No-one told me I would feel like this

How can I escape I'm sick with sorrow

Has a baby just been slaughtered at my decree

Does anyone else feel like me

 

Why do you tell me these feelings are wrong

That child was alive within me now he is gone

In a few more days will the memories leave my head

Of my child who was living who now is dead

I cannot bear these thoughts oppressing me

 

No-one told me I would feel like this

How can I escape I'm sick with sorrow

Has a baby just been slaughtered at my decree

Does anyone else feel like me

 

The nightmares still haunt me the sickness as I wake

The repulsion I'm feeling is too much to take

Visions of pain in sleepless night haziness

Taking my mind morbid in craziness

There is a reason for things I still feel

So much unanswered wounds unhealed

Many are the times words of comfort are spoken

But still no release is here within my reach

 

You can't hear me my child as I cry for you

You could have had love that now far too late

I can feel for you

 

I have no-one to blame but myself

I have no-one to take a share of the blame

their words bring no comfort to me

No this is not self pity

Until I die will I remain the same

 

God forgive me please forgive me

Forgive us all

 

God forgive me please forgive me

Forgive us all

 

God forgive me

Forgive us all

 

God forgive me please forgive me

Forgive us all

Forgive us

 

Through these tears hear my cries

Love and forgiveness I see in your eyes

My sin and misery you took in my place

Please release me by your healing grace

Lord my refuge is found in your peace

In your strength all my fears finally cease

You bring healing where darkness brought harm

I know the ones who died are resting in your arms

Top

Through The Vale

Only you precious one stayed when all else was gone

To be with me again and again

Sheltered from this chilling rain draw near me now

I share your pain come away run with me

 

Eternity stretches before us as we make our way

Resting for a while in each others arms

Lifting you up I will carry you until you wake

When morning breaks take my hand walk with me

 

Be with me forever never turn away

Be with me for evermore

Never turn turn away now we've come this far

And it's all worth living for

 

You were all I had in my world torn apart

You are all I'll ever need

You gave hope to me when my hope was gone

Now we run together through the darkest night

 

The morning star that lights the way beckons us through weary days

Through the vale of the bleakest winter

A million miles we've travelled with a million more ahead

Every path you tread I will never leave your side

 

When you see the journey's end and feel the strength to run again

All the pain is just a memory

Look and see how far we've come

Draw near to me

The battles won

Finally we can be free

Top

Yesterday's Gone

Can you stay my children with me

Lost in the past these memories I see

Everyone I used to know

I've seen them all taken they each had to go

 

You're all I have now I am old

The world outside so bitter cold so bitter cold

 

Running in fields in summers distant haze

I look back to childhood's long peaceful days

Times in youth where I can never return

I remember so clearly yet at a distance I yearn

If only to step back for a time

To feel but one of the things that I thought would always be mine always be mine

 

I remember grandmother's face

As she recalled her younger days

She knew deep down as she spoke them to me

Alone in these memories no-one could see

Or feel with her the things she felt

The past seemed so cold my children I feared growing old I feared growing old

 

Can you stay my children with me

Lost in the past these memories I see

Everyone I used to know

I've seen them all taken they each had to go they had to die

 

Each time you leave I wish you could stay

Yesterday's gone but I still have today

If tomorrow I leave here and you see me no more

Remember I loved you as you close one more door

 

Each time you leave I wish you could stay

Yesterday's gone but I still have today

If tomorrow I leave here and you see me no more

Remember I loved you as you close one more door

 

Yesterday's gone

 

You're all I have now I am old

The world outside so bitter cold

Top

Your Caress

Beauty in your eyes

Kindness in your heart

And the warmth of your caress

Tears me apart

Beauty in your eyes

The depth that you unfold

All the love that you posses

Tears at my soul

 

The distance I've created

And lost the things so precious

Without the care so deeply needed time and again forgiven

How could I expect you just to forget

Words are insufficient

Hard enough to accept

Except you are still everything to me

 

Beauty in your eyes

Kindness in your heart

And the warmth of your caress

Tears me apart

Beauty in your eyes

The depth that you unfold

All the love that you posses

Tears at my soul

 

The distance I've created

And lost the things so precious

And if we go our seperate ways will the depths we shared be lost

A lifetime of regrets is all we can expect

Is there no solution

Is it something we accept

Except you are still everything to me

 

Beauty in your eyes

Kindness in your heart

And the warmth of your caress

Tears me apart

Tear me apart

 

I wish I could return and undo the harm I've done

I wish I could come back and replace those things destroyed

I wish we could come back and live again all that has died

But where can we go now my darling

Both alone apart inside

 

I wish I could return and undo the harm I've done

I wish I could come back and replace those things destroyed

I wish we could come back and live again all that has died

But where can we go now my darling

Both alone apart inside

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